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To Bathe Or Not To Bathe


I've been living at the city house for a year now.  For two reasons, I had never taken a bath in this tub.

First of all, it is so much easier and quicker to hop into the shower.  This tub is about 5 x 6 feet and a spa tub big enough for three people.  Now, I've never been to a spa, nor have I ever had a massage.  The thought of lying naked on a table with a stranger rubbing me - well, it's not going to happen.

So, the other evening I thought I would take my first bath.  I gathered everything I could remember (shampoo etc.), put my phone next to the tub, made a drink (it was wretched, sweet and syrupy) and as a last thought, turned off the lights even though the window is frosted.  I feared the neighbors might see my silhouette in the window.

Just about everything that could have gone wrong did.  I had put some lavender/chamomile bath salts in the tub (very slippery, cause it sounds better than slimy) and added bubble bath just for fun. When the bubbles covered the little round blowholes, I started pushing and turning buttons.  Nothing seemed to work then finally, an explosion of bubbles and water from the ceiling to the cabinets and walls, mirrors and floors. What a mess.

I used to take long baths in a soaking tub at the farm.  I don't know how I did it.  This tub is basically on the floor and the bottom is hard.  I wasn't feeling it.  It was boring. Next, the sun dropped like a rock and it began to get dark.  Fast.  I did have a nightlight on but it was hard to see.  That was the last straw, then it hit me, how to get out.  There was nothing I could put my feet against to get out.  Bubbles all over me.  I'd wipe my hands and no bubbles would come off.  Glue bubbles.  So I decided to drain the tub.  Bubbles still wouldn't come off.  

I thought about calling 911 and asking for women firefighters to come help me out of this tub, but didn't.  I thought of sliding over the side like a seal, but feared breaking my neck.  

I finally got out, but I don't think I'll be taking a bath in this tub for a long time, if ever.

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